CRICKETING OF
JEWS, CHRISTIANS, MUSLIMS AND HINDUS
When Jews played cricket they had only one option for the dismissal of a batsman: to clean bowl.
When
cricket came to Christians, they added two more alternatives; ‘catch out’ and run out’ and they named it ‘Trinity
Out’
Then
the Muslims of the Arab picked the game and declared that ‘catch out’ and ‘run
out’ are the fancy of Christians and retained the purity of dismissal by
abrogating the ‘TRINITY’ mode of packing the batsman.
Eventually
cricket came to the hands of Hindus. They were annoyed with the solitary
approach of dismissal, so they applied their ‘Neti, Neti”process and
invented more ways to send away the batsman to the pavilion.
As
a result of their inwardness more approaches are experimented. Now, there are
innumerable ways to send a batsman to the pavilion: Stumping, LBW, Run out, Timed out, Play in, Handling
the ball, Double hit, Hit wicket, Obstructing the field..etc. It is learnt that BCCI, the Mecca of Cricket
is contemplating a few more ways to bundle a batsman.
THE CREATION OF ONE GOD
Years
later, when some gods escaped through the
pot holes, the Arabs of Mecca and Madhina caught hold of those gods and ‘sealed’
them tightly again in the ‘sacred’ old pot. They christened the pot “The Real One God”. Now we
Have two distinct “One God” in the
same pot.
CONVERTING TO ISLAM
AND CHRISTIANITY AT A TIME
Christian:
Dear Hindu brother, you better convert to Christianity, if you don’t want to go
to HELL.
Hindu:
After 12 noon I shall worship your Jesus.
Christian:
What is before 12 noon?
Hindu:
In the morning a Muslim also frightened me. He says I would go to HELL, if I
don’t worship his Allah. So up to 12 Noon I have decided to be a Muslim and worship
Allah.
Christian:
And have you no appointments with your own Hindu Gods?
Hindu:
Thank God, there is no Hell in the Hindu scriptures, so I need not to waste my
time worshipping the Hindu Gods.
PEOPLE PRAY
ACCORDING TO THEIR NEEDS
A
farmer prays thus: Lord, let it rain heavily, so I may reap a fine crop and
become rich. His neighbour, a Mineral water dealer also makes an appeal to God thus:
Lord let it not rain for many more days, so that I may well flourish in my
trade this year.
A
doctor in his hospital prays thus: Lord, let many people fall sick as I need a
lot of money. Meanwhile one of his patients in the hospital makes his earnest
prayer: God, Cure me and my inmates immediately and save us from the greedy
doctor.
A
Lawyer prays: Lord, make the people fight against each other so that I could
complete the construction of my new house at the earliest.
A
Hindu saint prays: Lord take away all my needs from me.
WHY ALL THE
RELIGIONS ARE SAME FOR A HINDU?
Muslim
(to a Hindu); Have you read your Holy Scriptures?
Hindu:
NO
Christian:
Have you read Bible?
Hindu:
No.
Muslim:
Have you gone through Quran?
Hindu:
No.
Atheist:
Which is the best religion, according to you?
Hindu:
All religions are same to me.
Atheist:
Could you explain further?
Hindu:
As I am equally ignorant of all of them, all religions are same to me.
WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN RELIGION RUNS DEEP IN A PERSON
When
Christianity goes deep into a Christian, he becomes an evangelist.
When
Islam goes too deep in a Muslim, he turns to guns and bombs.
And
when it happens in a Hindu, he runs to a deep forest in search of spirit.
This
running is known as ‘Aranyaka-run’
Searching for the Truth, the Hindu way
Once
a boy went to the forest along with his father who is a Forest Ranger. The
whole day he had to move through the forest in the company of his father and
his subordinates.
On
returning home in the evening the boy’s mother enquired of his son, ‘Dear son,
have you seen the forest and have you enjoyed being in the forest?” The son’s
answer came instantly, ‘No mother, since there are plenty of trees and bushes
all around I could not see the forest at all.”
This
is the plight of Hindu spirituality for centuries
ALLOPATHY DOCTORS AND AYURVEDIC DOCTORS
Two
patients met in a train.
“Do
you know why the Allopathy doctors are richer than the traditional Ayurvedha
Vedha doctors?”
“An Allopathy doctor treats the patient
and cures a disease to create another disease in him, so the patient needs to
pay his Allopathy doctor regularly whereas an Ayurvedha doctor treats the disease
and regulates the patient’s entire system, so the patients stop visiting him
altogether.”
HINDU'S HEAVEN
AND HELL
Christians:
God has created heaven for us and we shall be seated next to Jesus.
Muslims:
God has created Heaven for us and Hell for Jews, Christians and Hindus.
Hindus:
God hasn’t created any Heaven and Hell for us, so we have created ‘them’ ourselves
on earth.
HOW MANY WAYS
TO HEAVEN?
Christians:
Jesus is the only way to Heaven.
Muslims:
Belief in one God (Thouheedh) and the belief in Quran and the last prophet, Mohamed
are the ways to heaven.
Hindu:
All the human hearts are the ways to God, so there may be around 500 crores of
ways to reach God.
GOD IS BEYOND
DESCRIPTION
Christian:
God is beyond our imagination.
Muslim:
Muslims also accept the imperceptibility of God.
Hindu:
I am working out my own imperceptibility, so the imperceptibility of God is
only a second concern for me.
SLEEPING GOD
Christian:
My God doesn’t sleep.
Muslim:
Allah never sleeps, too.If he sleeps, who will look after the worldly affairs?
Hindu:
My God also doesn’t sleep.
Muslim:
I doubt the veracity of your statement because in Hindu scriptures we come
across sleeping gods.
Hindu:
You are right; when one god is asleep the other god is awake, so naturally the god
doesn’t sleep and all the same he enjoys sleep. This is the split theory of
sleeping.
MUSLIM FANCY?
A
Muslim: The non-Muslims follow their own fancy in the matters of spirituality.
The
Joker: And A Muslim follows the borrowed fancies of others in the matter of
spirit.
WHY SHOULD A HINDU
READ BIBLE AND QURAN
A
Muslim need not to read other religious scriptures because Quran has abrogated
all the previous scriptures. But a Hindu is supposed to read Quran and Bible
because he believes that all religions are same.
NO HINDU
PROPHETS IN HEAVEN
According
to the source of Muslim Hadeeth, when Mohamed went to heaven he saw some of the
Abrahamic prophets, but could not see any Hindu prophets.
why?
God
did not create any prophets for Hindus. Prophets are exclusively created for
Christians and Jews. Besides, even if a saint happens to pass by this material-laden heaven, he runs away from it in order to seek
his own spirit.
GOD’S
PROTECTION
Christians
and Muslims ask God to protect them on earth. On contrary Hindus pray for the
welfare of God, so they ask the God to take care of Himself in their prayers.
Cricket and spirituality
In
a local cricket match a man who had no
idea of cricket was invited to bat as the team was short of a batsman.The batsman was told to hit any way
he liked but to see the three stumps are not blown by the bowler.
The
batsman liked the idea very much and he surprised everyone hitting all around
the ground for fours and sixes. But what surprised the batsman was the
commentator categorizing each of his shots;-square cut,a square drive straight
drive,forward defence,carpet drive,hook etc.
In Hinduism what you need to have is
only devotion to God. When you go deep with your devotion ,the (religious) commentators would
categorize it for you as Dwaitha, Advaitha, Vishitadvaitha, Sagunopasana,
Nirgunopasana etc.
The Caste-crazed Brahmin
A rich haughty Brahman, who never
associated with Vedic scriptures, became caste-pride in order to hide his Vedic
illiteracy. He declared that he would not touch any thing that is touched by
non-Brahmins. The family members had a tough time to deal with his issues. He
refused to eat because, he knew the source of cultivation is the low caste
non-Brahmins and who brought to the markets are Non-Brahmin Vaishyas. As a
result some of the family members had to become farmers. The craze had gone to
such an extent, his family members had to design a Pure Brahmin- car for his journey.
One day he thought that now it is
time for him to read the scriptures. He ordered his family members to bring
Vedhas for him to read. Every one in the
house was dumb-stuck.
“What is the matter?” Shouted the old
Brahmin.
“We have thrown them out of the
house”, they confessed.
“Why have you done this?-you will
incur ‘papa’ ”
We are sorry to say that the Vedas
are written by a fisherman called Vyasa.
The cast-crazed Brahman was shocked .However,
not willing to surrender, he declared further,
“Get me the Bagavadh Geetha.”
“Sorry ,We threw it away as it is scripted by a Backward Caste,
Yadava, named Krishna.”
“Well, then bring Ramayana to read”
“ We burnt it as it is written by a
Scheduled Tribe, Valmiki who was also a plunderer and a thief.
The Brahmin realized his folly and
became a true human, a Sanathanadharmi
EVERYTHING IS CREATED FOR
MAN.
The entire universe and the living
beings in it are created for MAN only. Said the Christians and Muslims quoting
their scriptures-Bible and Quran respectively
The atheist asked: “Is god also
created for the purpose of man?”
Hindu: Don’t quarrel dear brothers,
God hasn’t created anybody for anybody; we were in existence we are in
existence and we shall be in existence, according to the Hindu scriptures.
Muslim invites a staunch Hindu to Mosque for
payer
Once in Sharja, I and some of the
teaching fraternity of a reputed school were passing by a mosque when the azan
(prayer call) was given .One of our English staff who was a bit fanatic invited
us the Hindus for the Muslim prayer.
We had a staunch Hindu among us who
retorted instantly.
“See, Gentleman we are all Shakespears and it is a sin to invite these Shakespears to learn English alphabet?
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